An Appreciated Moment
by Anna Mohr
Summary: Very short HarryGinny oneshot I wrote almost immediately after having read HBP


"Harry?" Ginny asked dreamily, gazing into the horizon.

"Yeah?" Harry stopped walking as Ginny had done so as well.

"How's this going to end?" she breathed. Harry was unsure of what to answer, unsure of what she wanted an answer to.

"What?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

"Everything, Harry ... are we going to live through these times?" she asked him sincere.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "If I can help it. I won't let anyone harm you or anybody. I can't promise you anything - I'd wish you'd all let me do it alone," he raised his hand to silence her as she had opened her mouth to argue, "but seeing as I know you aren't ... I don't know."

They were silent for a moment, then Ginny sat down on the grass and Harry followed her example. Ginny pulled her knees to her chin and wrapped her arms around them. Harry putted his hands behind his head and lay down in the grass, watching the sky. The afternoon was ending. They tried to converse about the weather and the beauty of the day, but the moment had an air of seriousness, and soon there was silence again.

"I'm not afraid of dying," said Ginny suddenly, her voice low, barely nothing but a whisper. Harry sat up to face her as she was speaking. "I just don't want to die. I don't only want to defeat Voldemort, I want to have the peace that will follow after, Harry. What's the use in fighting for better times, if we - if we don't live to see them?"

Harry didn't know what to answer, because he thought the topic was rather emotional, and judging from the look on Ginny's face, she was getting emotional too, and he wouldn't want to hurt her or something like that. So he weighed his words carefully before speaking.

"I know what you mean. And Ginny, I understand you. I - I have a choice, but I really need to do this -" he was cut off by Ginny.

"That's not what I meant! I know I don't have to do this, Harry, but it makes no difference! Don't you understand? I don't want to lose you!" she burst out, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. She hid her face in her knees. Harry moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He did not speak to her because he didn't think that was what she needed at the moment. Soon her voice came muffled:

"Harry ... If you die ... if anybody that I love die ..." Harry had a sinking feeling in his stomach when Ginny used the word 'love' and another one when she looked right into his eyes. "I don't think I could handle that," she said, lowering her gaze to her feet. "I really don't."

Harry wiped away her tears gently with his hand. He wanted to pull her close to him, to assure her that everything would be right. But he couldn't, he really couldn't. Their future was insecure. He wished to tell her all the things she needed to hear. When looking at her he also felt a deep desire to hug her and assure her he'd be there, always. But he couldn't do that. His feelings for Ginny were ... pushed aside, he was trying to forget them for the sake of her safety, and hugging her wouldn't make that any easier, not for Ginny either. But in that very moment Harry was having a hard time fighting his emotions back.

He realised that the only reason he managed to do so, was because deep down he couldn't promise her that he'd always be there. He was in for this with his life, and he was very likely to lose it, and they both knew it.

"Ginny ..." Harry knew of no comforting words. He wished he didn't have to fight Voldemort. He wished he could live peacefully with Ginny and his friends.

"You're a very strong girl. You have always been strong. I need you to hold on to that strength. Come what may, Ginny, don't you lose faith. Good will conquer evil in the end. That's a fact. I might die, Ginny. People we love might die too. We need to keep on fighting," then he remembered something and his eyes started to get watery. Ginny was looking into his eyes intently, and she took his hands as he continued.

"Sirius - Sirius once said to me, that there are things worth dying for. I didn't understand it back then. I thought he was wrong," he looked into Ginny's eyes and their stares were locked into each others. "I was of the same opinion as you. What's it worth if we are dead? I didn't care what the Order was doing, all I wanted was Sirius." A single tear fell down his cheek. He squeezed her hand. "I - I understand now. There _are_ things worth dying for, Ginny. If I can make evil vanish ... bring peace back to the wizarding world ... then it's worth my life. I need to try. Not only because it's my destiny and all that, but because Dumbledore gave his life so that I could do this. Sirius gave his too. Even my father and mother gave their lives. I don't want them to have died for nothing," several tears had now accompanied the first one. He tried to stop them from coming, but he was then hit by the understanding in Ginny's face. It seemed as though his explanation, his rather emotional explanation had given her strength. And what he found in her eyes gave him strength now. It wasn't pity, it wasn't blame and it wasn't fear. In that moment Harry realised what he really valued about Ginny. She understood him so well, and that moment was no exception. Her dark blue eyes was filled with the strongest understanding he had ever seen, and just then Harry felt that he couldn't complete his mission if that meant that he would never be able to look into those eyes again.


End file.
